What Mom's say out loud versus what they think in their heads:
#1
Mother's Day and Birthdays
What we say:
"A macaroni necklace...it's beautiful!!!!
What we think:
When I told your Dad I wanted jewelry, this is not exactly what I meant. And seriously, could you at least have used Fruit Loops so it would be edible?
#2
MOM...I pooped...come wipe my butt!!!
What we say:
"Be right there sweetie!"
What we think:
Seriously, you figured out how to use my iPhone when you were 2 years old and can work the TV and DVD player, but you can't figure out how to wipe your own butt?!
#3
Mama...why doesn't Livvie have a wiener and I do?
What we say:
"Because boys and girls are built differently. Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina."
What we think:
Oh crap...please, please, please don't bring up this new fascination in public. Especially at church or Sunday school.
#4
What we say:
"You are such a good dancer!"
What we think:
You are the worst dancer in the history of the world....let's hope you can impress girls with your witty sense of humor.
