Saturday, April 16, 2011


I love my family and my life, but every once and awhile I look around and say to myself, "what the hell happened?". I mean I used to have some sophistication and class in my life, where did it go? How did Pottery Barn and Martha Stewart get replaced with plastic sporks, Lightning McQueen dinnerware, and Winnie-the Pooh window cling-on's?

For those of you who don't have kids yet and have convinced yourself that it won't happen to you, BEWARE! It's happens slowly and stealthily. First it's that Dora cup that accidentally came home from Grandma's, then it's the Elmo plate that came with the DVD, then the "home-made" decorations from daycare, then it's the ugly screen-print Cookie Monster t-shirt (you don't know where it came from, but he insists on wearing it every day), and then day you look around and your house (and kids) look like a white-trash rummage sale.

I know I'm fighting a losing battle, but here are 5 things that I consider small victories in getting some class back in my life:

#1. Enforcing the "Underwear is not optional at the dinner table rule". He can run around naked the other 99% of the time, but dang-it, our meals are going to be "wiener-free".

#2. The fact that both kids say "excuse me" after they fart. Yeah, they fart at the dinner table and at church, but at least they say excuse me. That's classy right?

#3. Buying .99 cent clear plastic, "faux-glass" cups at Wal-Mart for the kids and using them at meal-time to give me the illusion of matching dinnerware. Seriously, the cups actually make me happy...sad huh?

#4. Making them clean up ALL the toys in their bedrooms before bed and then making their beds every morning. At least for 5 minutes each morning, their rooms look cute and it makes it almost worth the hours and hours and hours I spent choosing furniture, coordinating bedding, decorating, and painting with faux-finishes. Because for every other waking hour of the day you would think their rooms had been decorated by monkeys on crack.

#5. .... Crap, I don't even have 5!! I need to go cry now.