6 Months

That New Mom Smell

Three things happened last week that made me realize I've crossed the threshold from being a "starter Mom", to being a "real Mom".  What's a starter Mom you might ask?  A starter Mom is a new Mom, who still has most of her dignity.  Whose life hasn't quite been taken over yet.  This starter Mom phase can last anywhere from a few months to a few years.  But at some point, we all cross over and lose that new Mom smell.  We become quality pre-owned Mom's. 

 

I dont' know exactly when it happened to me.  But I suspect it was long before the events of this week.  Here's what opened my eyes: 

 

#1. I was driving into town alone and 20 minutes into the trip realized I was listening to the Letter Factory CD that was playing from when the kids were in the van last AND I was actually singing along.  "The A says ah, The A says ah, Every Letter Makes a Sound, the A says ah".  Now you're singing it in your head aren't you?  You're welcome.

 

 

#2. I realized I have absolutely no idea what the hot summer movies are this year or whose in them, but I know that Cars comes out this Friday, it's written on my calendar, and we've actually turned down adult gathering invites to keep our schedule clear for it.

 

 

#3. When Lucky was little, I made sure he looked seriously cute whenever we left the house.  Matching shirt and pants?  Check.  Clean face? Check.  Hair combed?  Check.  Complete adorableness?  Check.  When you're a new Mom, you love when you see people checking out your kid and smiling, like when you go through the checkout at Target and the cashier keeps smiling at him and telling you how adorable he is.  Total Mommy high...like baby-compliment meth.    Fast forward almost 4 years.  Checkout lane at Target.  Cashier keeps smiling at Lucky as we check out....I'm smiling thinking she must be lovin' on his cuteness, then I look at him...I mean really look at him.  Red kool-aid mustache, weird Alfalfa thing going on with his hair, stained t-shirt with the too-big bright orange shorts he insisted on putting on that morning and... wait for it.............black rubber rain boots.   

Peck, Peck, Peck

A few years ago I found a sign at a craft store that said "Raising Kids is like Being Pecked to Death by Chickens".  At the time Lucky was just a baby (and hadn't started talking) so I failed to see the awesome truthfulness of the sign.  I didn't buy the sign and honestly never really thought about it again, until today.  See, over the last weeks Livvie's (Little Bits) language skills have exploded and suddenly I go to bed every night feeling as if MY head were going to explode from the sheer non-stop badgering of questions....ALL...DAY...LONG.  From sun up to sun down there is not a statement that comes out of my mouth that doesn't result in a "Why?" from Little Bits.

 

Lucky was always a very talkative, very inquisitive kid, but he also did a lot of quiet thinking too.  He could watch a TV show and stay relatively quiet, car rides were peppered with questions, but also had nice stretches of quiet time too, overall he was the perfect companion....chatty, but not a chatty Cathy (if you know what I mean).  And then there's Little Bits...who takes questions to a whole new level (a level I didn't even know existed).  Even watching cartoons is exhausting, 30 straight minutes of "what dat?", "who dat?", "why he doin?", "Mama, look dat!", "where he go?", "why he sad, happy, silly...?"   And the simplest tasks get turned into a interrogation:

 

Me: "Let's get your teeth brushed"

LB: "Why?"

Me: "Because we need to brush our teeth every day to keep them clean and healthy"

LB: "Why?" (peck, peck, peck)

Me: Because if we don't, the little pieces of food caught in our mouth will hurt our teeth"

LB: "Why?" (peck, peck, peck)

Me: "Because out teeth need to stay clean to stay strong and white and pretty."

LB: "Why?" (peck, peck, peck)

Me: "Because the dentist said so"

LB: "Why?" (peck, peck, peck)

Me: "Because they just do"

LB: "Why" (peck, peck, peck)

Me:  (Silent groan of frustration)...just because!!

 

And it's not just the "why's?"...it seems now her and Lucky are double-teaming me.

 

Lucky: "Look Mom cows!"

Me: "Yep, cows"

LB: "Cows eat mama?

Me: "Yep, cows eat out in the field"

Lucky: "What do they eat mama?"

Me: "Oh lots of stuff, hay, grass.."

Lucky: "What else?"

Me: "What do you mean?"

Lucky: "you said they eat lots of stuff, what else?"

LB: "What es mama??

Me: "I don't know, hay, grass, maybe special cow food (yes I am fully aware there is probably no such thing as special cow food, but I just want the questions to stop so I can listen to the radio).

Lucky: "What's special cow food?"

LB: "cow fod?"

Me: "I don't know...we'll ask your Dad when he gets home (this usually sidetracks Lucky and the subject gets dropped).

Lucky: silence for about 30 seconds...."what's special cow food again"?

peck, peck, peck...... 

 

Are there other Mom's out there who find them selves screaming silently in their head "for the love of all that's good and holy please stop talking for 5 minutes!!!!"  By the time Cale gets home at the end of the day I'm so desperate for peace and quiet that I have to fake "tummy trouble" at least 3 times a week and go and sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes.  Poor Cale must think I have IBS or some sort of weird tapeworm from China.  But it's not a tapeworm...it's the chickens....