The Great Turkey Fryer Incident of 2011

"Want To Make Your Own Maple Syrup? We Have The Supplies You Need!"

It all started with that innocent sign outside Hiller's Hardware Store. We drove past after Sunday School and suddenly Cale was turning around and we ended up in Hiller's parking lot.

Stef: "What do you need at Hiller's?"
Cale: "They have supplies to make our own maple syrup"
Stef: "Huh?"
Cale: "We can tap the Maple Trees in the yard and make our own syrup"
Stef: "Uh, we only have one Maple Tree"
Cale: "We can tap the neighbors trees too."

And before I knew it Cale was in and out carrying a bag of maple syrup making supplies.

Stef: "How much?"
Cale: "I bought 4 taps and some bags, it was only $30"

Let me say right now, I know nothing about making maple syrup, but I had a hunch you needed more than a small bag of taps and some plastic bags. We know a few people who make maple syrup and they have pretty extensive equipment for it. But I just nodded my head and smiled and waited to see how this would all play out.

So back to the story...
Day #1. Between our yard and the neighbors we had a total of 4 trees to tap.
Day #2. After work Cale and Lucky collected the sap and then encountered the first problem. The sap needs to be cooked down and we didn't have anything big enough to do it. So Cale ended up cooking it down using 2 different pots in multiple batches, one out on the grill and one on the stove in the house. Let's just say he was up late that night.
Fast forward to Day #4. Sick of using multiple pots and being up late Cale informs me he needs to buy a turkey fryer because then he can cook all the sap down in one batch.
Day #5. Cale comes home with a brand new turkey fryer from Wal-Mart. Only $40...a small price to pay for homemade maple syrup, right?

Now before I continue I need to explain something about Cale. Anyone who knows him knows he is very mechanical. He can fix pretty much anything....cars, motors, toys, lawn mowers, you name it, he can fix it. But he has no use for any safety equipment. If a piece of equipment, machinery, or tool has a safety feature, he will probably figure out a way to take it off or turn it off. Safety-Schmafte.

So back to Day #5. The new turkey fryer is out of box, assembled, and cooking down sap. Cale comes in the house and asks:

Cale: "Where's the duct tape?
Stef: "Why???"
Cale: "The stupid thing has a safety switch on the timer that automatically turns it off after 20 minutes if you don't manually reset the timer."
Stef: "So why do you need duct tape?"
Cale: "Because I'm going to tape the thing wide open so it can't shut off." Stef: "That doesn't sound like a good idea. What if you forget to check on it?" Cale: "I won't forget"
Stef: "But what if you do?"
Cale: "I won't, you worry too much"
Stef: "I'm stating for the record this is a bad idea"
Cale: laughs and heads outside with the duct-tape

Fast forward to 10:00pm that night. I'm in bed sleeping when Cale comes to bed:

Stef: "What's that smell?"
Cale: "I burned a hole in the stupid turkey fryer"
Stef: "WHAT!?"
Cale: "I fell asleep in Lucky's room after I read him a story and never checked on the sap. When I woke up and went outside there were flames shooting out of it and there was a hole burned through the bottom of the pot and all the sap is ruined."

Stef: (not successfully trying to hide laughter). Now what?
Cale: "We need a new turkey fryer."

So for those of you who are keeping track, check out my pic at the bottom of the page to see what $70 of maple syrup looks like.....

World's Greatest Mom

I'm not the World's Greatest Mom...the closest I'll ever come to getting that title will probably be on a cheap, ceramic coffee cup once the kids are old enough to pick out their own Mother's Day gifts for me. But I do think I'm pretty good Mom...I try my best and I do okay. So far my kids are healthy, happy, and we're always able to find willing babysitters (which I think is a great indicator of how likable your kids really are). And since everyone has been asking me for more of my Top 5 lists, here is my Top 5 list of things that are okayed by the "World's Okayest Mom"

#1. It's okay to miss brushing your kids teeth every once and awhile. Because seriously, it's 7:55pm and a new episode of Modern Family starts in 5 minutes (and they're only baby teeth right?)

#2. It's okay to put your kids in the bathtub but forget to actually wash them up because you were checking emails on your laptop while they played in the water. Bubble bath counts as soap right?

#3. It's okay to justify to yourself that Kid Cuisine microwave meals have some nutritious value since they come with corn.

#4. It's okay to take your kids to McDonald's and only spend $1 on one hamburger for them to split because you're really only there to use the playland because you're going to go crazy if you have to spend one more day cooped up alone in the house with them. (It's also okay to go back up and ask for 2 free baby cones before you leave as long as you ask a different person than the one who gave you the funny look when you only ordered one hamburger for three people).

#5. It's okay to secretly judge other people's kids at the playland and wonder why on earth they would let them leave the house looking like that. You know the girl I'm talking about - the one wearing the ripped pink and purple sweatpants, red striped Thomas the Train shirt and two different color socks. (But then you see the Mom is wearing Spongebob pajama pants and a Bum sweatshirt and it all makes sense).

Snow Day Brawl

I have HATED being at home for the last 3 weeks. I thought this was going to be the best 12 weeks ever and it turned into me counting the days until I could go back to work.  I like to think of myself as a pretty competent, take-charge, can do-anything type of girl...but then why have I been letting two toddlers run my life?  Seriously, they have been kicking my ass.  The house is a disaster, I'm constantly refereeing fights, my patience is shot, we're always running late, not eating supper until after 6:00 each night, and I've turned into the type of Mom I've always hated...the yeller. 

 

I know a lot of people yell at their kids and if it works for you, great.  But for me, I hate it.  In my opinion, if you have to yell at your kids to get them to do something, it means you've totally lost control of them.  And since you can't yell in public, it means that you've got no way to control your kids where it counts...in front of other people.  I've spent the last three years trying to break Cale of the "yelling habit" with Lucky and now I've found myself going down the same path out of sheer frustration.  Well, in the timeless words of Twisted Sister "We're not gonna take it anymore".... More specifically, I'm not gonna take it anymore.  I decided on Sunday that it was time to take back control of this house and that started with two important things: 

 

#1: No more "Mom in the middle"

#2: Getting organized again

 

By no more "Mom in the middle" I mean that I'm done being a ref for their never-ending fights about toys, shovels, buckets, and whatever other random injustices they think they see.  From now on, they are on their own to duke it out.  I think it's a fair fight...they're both similar height, weight, and build...and what Livvie lacks in all three she makes up for in sheer determination.  (The pictures today may make it look like Lucky is winning, but at the end of the brawl, I think Livvie actually came out on top).  I also took another Blogger Mom's idea and started "toy time-outs".  This means if they are fighting over a toy and can't work it out, the toy gets a time out for the day.  The toy goes on top of the fridge and no-one gets to play with it.  At the rate we're going, the fridge is going to collapse from the weight of the toys. 

 

I also got back to the core of what makes me kick-ass - I got organized.  I started weekly meal-planning again, started getting breakfast ready the night before in tupperware containers, lining a week's worth of outfits (pants, shirts, socks, and undies) on the bottom shelf of each kids closet (so they can grab their own complete outfit in the morning), and putting the kids in charge of cleaning up all their own toys.

 

It's only been a few days but I feel like me again.  And more importantly, the inmates are no longer running the asylum.

Turtle-isms

At bedtime:
Me: Do you know why I love you?
Turtle: Why?
Me: Because you're sweet, funny, kind, smart, a awesome big brother, and
Turtle: And Crazy!
Me: Yep, you are kinda crazy too
Turtle: And I'm gonna give Livvie crazies like me!

 

To random stranger at McDonald's:
"This is my sister we bought in China".