Happy Halloween

First Day of School

6 Months

That New Mom Smell

Three things happened last week that made me realize I've crossed the threshold from being a "starter Mom", to being a "real Mom".  What's a starter Mom you might ask?  A starter Mom is a new Mom, who still has most of her dignity.  Whose life hasn't quite been taken over yet.  This starter Mom phase can last anywhere from a few months to a few years.  But at some point, we all cross over and lose that new Mom smell.  We become quality pre-owned Mom's. 

 

I dont' know exactly when it happened to me.  But I suspect it was long before the events of this week.  Here's what opened my eyes: 

 

#1. I was driving into town alone and 20 minutes into the trip realized I was listening to the Letter Factory CD that was playing from when the kids were in the van last AND I was actually singing along.  "The A says ah, The A says ah, Every Letter Makes a Sound, the A says ah".  Now you're singing it in your head aren't you?  You're welcome.

 

 

#2. I realized I have absolutely no idea what the hot summer movies are this year or whose in them, but I know that Cars comes out this Friday, it's written on my calendar, and we've actually turned down adult gathering invites to keep our schedule clear for it.

 

 

#3. When Lucky was little, I made sure he looked seriously cute whenever we left the house.  Matching shirt and pants?  Check.  Clean face? Check.  Hair combed?  Check.  Complete adorableness?  Check.  When you're a new Mom, you love when you see people checking out your kid and smiling, like when you go through the checkout at Target and the cashier keeps smiling at him and telling you how adorable he is.  Total Mommy high...like baby-compliment meth.    Fast forward almost 4 years.  Checkout lane at Target.  Cashier keeps smiling at Lucky as we check out....I'm smiling thinking she must be lovin' on his cuteness, then I look at him...I mean really look at him.  Red kool-aid mustache, weird Alfalfa thing going on with his hair, stained t-shirt with the too-big bright orange shorts he insisted on putting on that morning and... wait for it.............black rubber rain boots.   

Peck, Peck, Peck

A few years ago I found a sign at a craft store that said "Raising Kids is like Being Pecked to Death by Chickens".  At the time Lucky was just a baby (and hadn't started talking) so I failed to see the awesome truthfulness of the sign.  I didn't buy the sign and honestly never really thought about it again, until today.  See, over the last weeks Livvie's (Little Bits) language skills have exploded and suddenly I go to bed every night feeling as if MY head were going to explode from the sheer non-stop badgering of questions....ALL...DAY...LONG.  From sun up to sun down there is not a statement that comes out of my mouth that doesn't result in a "Why?" from Little Bits.

 

Lucky was always a very talkative, very inquisitive kid, but he also did a lot of quiet thinking too.  He could watch a TV show and stay relatively quiet, car rides were peppered with questions, but also had nice stretches of quiet time too, overall he was the perfect companion....chatty, but not a chatty Cathy (if you know what I mean).  And then there's Little Bits...who takes questions to a whole new level (a level I didn't even know existed).  Even watching cartoons is exhausting, 30 straight minutes of "what dat?", "who dat?", "why he doin?", "Mama, look dat!", "where he go?", "why he sad, happy, silly...?"   And the simplest tasks get turned into a interrogation:

 

Me: "Let's get your teeth brushed"

LB: "Why?"

Me: "Because we need to brush our teeth every day to keep them clean and healthy"

LB: "Why?" (peck, peck, peck)

Me: Because if we don't, the little pieces of food caught in our mouth will hurt our teeth"

LB: "Why?" (peck, peck, peck)

Me: "Because out teeth need to stay clean to stay strong and white and pretty."

LB: "Why?" (peck, peck, peck)

Me: "Because the dentist said so"

LB: "Why?" (peck, peck, peck)

Me: "Because they just do"

LB: "Why" (peck, peck, peck)

Me:  (Silent groan of frustration)...just because!!

 

And it's not just the "why's?"...it seems now her and Lucky are double-teaming me.

 

Lucky: "Look Mom cows!"

Me: "Yep, cows"

LB: "Cows eat mama?

Me: "Yep, cows eat out in the field"

Lucky: "What do they eat mama?"

Me: "Oh lots of stuff, hay, grass.."

Lucky: "What else?"

Me: "What do you mean?"

Lucky: "you said they eat lots of stuff, what else?"

LB: "What es mama??

Me: "I don't know, hay, grass, maybe special cow food (yes I am fully aware there is probably no such thing as special cow food, but I just want the questions to stop so I can listen to the radio).

Lucky: "What's special cow food?"

LB: "cow fod?"

Me: "I don't know...we'll ask your Dad when he gets home (this usually sidetracks Lucky and the subject gets dropped).

Lucky: silence for about 30 seconds...."what's special cow food again"?

peck, peck, peck...... 

 

Are there other Mom's out there who find them selves screaming silently in their head "for the love of all that's good and holy please stop talking for 5 minutes!!!!"  By the time Cale gets home at the end of the day I'm so desperate for peace and quiet that I have to fake "tummy trouble" at least 3 times a week and go and sit in the bathroom for 20 minutes.  Poor Cale must think I have IBS or some sort of weird tapeworm from China.  But it's not a tapeworm...it's the chickens....

 

 

What Mom's Really Think...

What Mom's say out loud versus what they think in their heads:

 

#1

Mother's Day and Birthdays

 

What we say:

"A macaroni necklace...it's beautiful!!!!

 

What we think:

When I told your Dad I wanted jewelry, this is not exactly what I meant.  And seriously, could you at least have used Fruit Loops so it would be edible?

 

 

 

#2

MOM...I pooped...come wipe my butt!!!

 

What we say:

"Be right there sweetie!"

 

What we think:

Seriously, you figured out how to use my iPhone when you were 2 years old and can work the TV and DVD player, but you can't figure out how to wipe your own butt?!

 

 

 

#3

Mama...why doesn't Livvie have a wiener and I do?

 

What we say:

"Because boys and girls are built differently.  Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina."

 

What we think:

Oh crap...please, please, please don't bring up this new fascination in public.  Especially at church or Sunday school.

 

 

 

#4

What we say:

"You are such a good dancer!"

 

What we think:

You are the worst dancer in the history of the world....let's hope you can impress girls with your witty sense of humor.

 

 

Polka

My husband is a dork. I know it and he knows it. He likes classic country music, still wants to wear stone-washed jeans, and likes to listen to Polka Jamboree on Sunday Mornings. If left on his own, he'd probably leave the house wearing Wrangler stone washed jeans(tapered at the ankles of course), a mock-turtle neck (no, not even a real turtle-neck, a "mock" one), and a 1985 Dale Earnhardt sweatshirt. I buy all his clothes in an attempt to make him presentable, but I gave up trying to "coolify" him a long, long time ago. A girl has to realize when she's fighting a losing battle.

My kids however are another story. They are a clean-slate to work with...and I am determined to lead them away from dorkdom. Come hell-or-highwater, they will be cool...cool I tell you!!!! And believe me, this is no easy feat considering Lucky is a fair-skinned red head with freckles and Livvie will be the only Asian in school. Put them together and they are quite a pair. But I knew I would prevail, with hard work, dedication, and many, many dollars spent on cool music and clothes, my kids would not end up like their Dad...and then it happened....Polka Jamboree.

Turns out both kids love polka. I give up...might as well just run their underwear up the flag pole now. Enjoy the attached video.

Livvie's Reality

Last week was Livvie's 3rd birthday…her first birthday with us and her first birthday outside the orphanage walls.  It's only been two months, but sometimes I forget that she spent the first three years of her life in an orphanage.  But then something will happen that brings that reality to light.  Like when we gave her the first wrapped birthday gift to open, she didn't know how to do it.  Reality check:  This sweet little girl is 3 years old and has never been given a present to unwrap.  Really think about that….she's three and never had anyone give her a gift.  She shared clothes, shoes, underwear, food, and toys with hundreds of other children and never had anything to call her own.
 
That small reality check started my brain down the path to the reality of her first three years.  It's something I believe most adoptive parents don't really want to think about too much.  We want to close the door on that part of their life and move forward.  Mostly because when you really think about it…I mean really think about it, the sadness is overwhelming and crushing.  Because when you admit to yourself that this sweet, funny, innocent little girl never got a present, you also have to acknowledge all the other things she never got.  She never got tucked in with a hug and a kiss, she never had anyone tell her how beautiful she is, she never had anyone tell her how proud of her they are, she never had anyone to tell her it's okay when she woke up scared in the dark, she never had anyone clap when she took her first steps or say her first words, she never had anyone baby her when she was sick, she never had anyone take her shopping for a new dress or a new pair of shoes, she never got a bubble bath, she never had anyone whose face lit up when she walked in the room, she never had anyone tell her they would love her forever.  I think you get the point… 
 
So now that I've probably succeeded in making you cry (or at the very least, depressing the heck out of you), what's my point in this Debbie-Downer blog entry?  My point is that the universe gave these kids a really raw deal, and we shouldn't sit on our butts and shrug our shoulders.  Do something...anything.  Could you open your heart and family and adopt a child?  Could you foster a child?  No?  You can still help by donating to adoption charities like the Dave Thomas Foundation or Half the Sky (http://www.halfthesky.org/).  I read this quote on a fellow adoptive Mom's website and it's stuck with me everyday since:

 

"Sometimes I want to ask God why he allows poverty, suffering, and injustice in the world when he could do something about it, but I'm afraid he might ask me the same thing."

 

So anyway, we got off our butts and did something and I think these 2 pictures say it all....

 

Princess Lucky

This is what happens when the neighbors give you a trunk of dress up clothes and you turn your back for 5 minutes....

 

Turtle-ism's

Turtle whispering to Livvie while they were both on a time-out for hitting each other:

 

"You better be good or Mom is going to send us both back to China...you don't want that do you?"

 

How can you not laugh???

 

The picture is the mandatory hug I make them give each other when they fight. 

Lucky and Livvie

Class

I love my family and my life, but every once and awhile I look around and say to myself, "what the hell happened?". I mean I used to have some sophistication and class in my life, where did it go? How did Pottery Barn and Martha Stewart get replaced with plastic sporks, Lightning McQueen dinnerware, and Winnie-the Pooh window cling-on's?

For those of you who don't have kids yet and have convinced yourself that it won't happen to you, BEWARE! It's happens slowly and stealthily. First it's that Dora cup that accidentally came home from Grandma's, then it's the Elmo plate that came with the DVD, then the "home-made" decorations from daycare, then it's the ugly screen-print Cookie Monster t-shirt (you don't know where it came from, but he insists on wearing it every day), and then BAM...one day you look around and your house (and kids) look like a white-trash rummage sale.

I know I'm fighting a losing battle, but here are 5 things that I consider small victories in getting some class back in my life:

#1. Enforcing the "Underwear is not optional at the dinner table rule". He can run around naked the other 99% of the time, but dang-it, our meals are going to be "wiener-free".

#2. The fact that both kids say "excuse me" after they fart. Yeah, they fart at the dinner table and at church, but at least they say excuse me. That's classy right?

#3. Buying .99 cent clear plastic, "faux-glass" cups at Wal-Mart for the kids and using them at meal-time to give me the illusion of matching dinnerware. Seriously, the cups actually make me happy...sad huh?

#4. Making them clean up ALL the toys in their bedrooms before bed and then making their beds every morning. At least for 5 minutes each morning, their rooms look cute and it makes it almost worth the hours and hours and hours I spent choosing furniture, coordinating bedding, decorating, and painting with faux-finishes. Because for every other waking hour of the day you would think their rooms had been decorated by monkeys on crack.

#5. .... Crap, I don't even have 5!! I need to go cry now.

We Be Jeepin'

Our wonderful neighbors Crystal and Jerry gave us Syd's old Barbie Jeep so Livvie would have a ride-on toy too.  The first day we had it out the kids spent over an hour riding around the back yard together laughing their heads off.  Lucky doesn't want anything to do with his tractor anymore since the Jeep is SO much cooler because it has 2 seats.

 

So from a Mom who got a ENTIRE hour to relax on the deck and read a book...thank you Crystal and Jerry...you're the BEST!!!

Random Cuteness

The Cheese Factor

I believe that boys are born with a microchip embedded in their brains that activates at age three and commands them to clench their teeth, squint their eyes, and yell "CHEESE" at the top of their lungs whenever a camera is present.  There is no other rational explanation for why every picture I have taken of Lucky over the last year looks like this....

Random Cuteness

Turtle-ism's

At bedtime prayers:

Me: "Thank you Jesus for this fun day..."

Lucky: "Thank you Jesus for fun today..."

Me: "and thank you for Mama and Daddy..."

Lucky: "thank you Jesus for Mama and Daddy..."

Me: "and for Livvie.."

Lucky: "ummm mama....is it time to trade her in yet?"